Year of the Code Monkey
Because Jonah Bishop Said So
My family took a trip to the North Carolina State Fair today (as we do every year), and we had a great time. While there, I had some interesting thoughts on the types of people one sees at the fair. And, to some level, these groups also apply at amusement parks (though I’m not sure why). Here are the major people groups that I came up with:
Teenagers
This demographic makes up a large portion of those actually at the fair. Many teens apparently mistake the fair for some sort of mass orgy; the girls dress scantily and the guys hang all over the girls they are with. Some teen “couples” can be seen walking around as if in some sort of mental haze. These particular teens “hold hands” (rather loosely, mind you) and seem stare into the distance at all times. Is this a result of a drug induced stupor? Quite possibly. Many of the teens smoke, and curse like sailors. I enjoy avoiding this group as much as possible.
Pre-teens Trying to Be Teenagers
There are fewer people in this group, but enough to be categorical. The kids who aren’t quite teenagers do their best to mimic their older counterparts, albeit in a much more immature way. I mostly feel sorry for those included in this group, since they just seem so pathetic.
Parents with Small Children
Small children drive me crazy, and this year’s fair seemed to be packed with them. There were strollers everywhere, and whiny, snot-nosed kids populated those strollers. And, through all the whining and tantrum throwing, mom and dad do nothing. Could they too be in a drug induced stupor? This group makes up (in my estimation) roughly a third of the people at the fair, if not more.
The Elderly
Lots of older people can be seen at the fair, which isn’t too surprising seeing that people 65 or older can get in free. The only main problem I have with this group is that they always walk slowly, and I inevitably get caught behind them. Come on grandma; get a move on!
Thugs
Black, White, Hispanic, it apparently doesn’t matter what color you are; “gangstas” can be seen all over the place. Baggy jeans, gold chains, over-sized clothing, threatening looks, this group has it all. The end result is so pathetic, I can’t help but shake my head in disappointment.
Ugly People
The fact is that there are a lot of butt-ugly people out there. And they seem to flock to the fair. Why must ugly, overweight women wear clothes that reveal more of themselves than anyone wants to see?
Can you think of a group I’ve omitted? If so, feel free to discuss.
October 19, 2006 at 10:58 pm
Nope, don’t think you left any groups out. I’m just wondering which group you fit into?
October 20, 2006 at 3:32 am
yeah, i think you missed the group named “geeks” or name any of “teenage” sub-cultures: punks, rappers, ravers, goths, etc.
October 20, 2006 at 9:39 am
I think goths are definitely a separate category, but they may be too cool for the state fair. Except I think they’re called “emo” kids now or something. But I don’t claim to keep up with what the cool kids are calling themselves nowadays. When I was 13 you had to make the life-defining choice between going “prep” or “grundge”. Yeah I don’t miss middle school at all.
I’ve never understood what parents think their 2-year-olds are going to get out of an amusement park.
You also didn’t mention the overweight thugs, that walk in groups of three, side-by-side, extremely slowly, filling up an entire walkway.
October 20, 2006 at 9:50 am
Will somebody please think of the carnies!! It’s a good life when your daily fruit serving consists of a candy apple. Living by the motto, “If it ain’t fried, it ain’t food.” The best part has to be making easy money from people who think they are smarter than you, thinking it’s a deal play a $2.00 game to win a $0.10 stuffed animal. You may feel sorry for them, but with profit margins like that, they are kings among men.
Oh yeah, you forgot about extremely obese people who eat extremely unhealthy food. It’s hard to watch, but you can’t help it. They are asking for a heart attack.
October 20, 2006 at 10:03 am
I considered adding Goths to the list, though there weren’t enough of them to warrant a full category. I did run into a few of them, however, and they creeped me out as they always do.
There are a lot of subcategories that I could enumerate in the “Teenagers” heading, but I figured I’d just roll them all up into one group.
I’d consider myself among the one group I didn’t feel necessary to list: normal people.